Words That Build Trust, and Words That Quietly Break It
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. Leaders shape trust one phrase at a time.
Words that build trust include I was wrong, thank you, what do you think, I will find out, here is what I know and do not know, and I trust you with this. Words that quietly break it include it is not my fault, that is just how it is, I will try, we will see, and promises that are not kept. Trust grows when leaders are honest, curious and consistent in what they say.
Mark Twain said that the difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. Leaders feel that difference every day. The same message can build trust or chip away at it depending on how it is said.
In sales I use a simple example: you can say it is just our process, or you can say let me walk you through how we support you. Same process. Totally different feeling. The same is true with your team.
Phrases that build trust
- “I was wrong about that.”
- “Thank you. Here is what it made possible.”
- “What do you think?”
- “I do not know yet, and I will find out by Friday.”
- “Here is what I know, and what I do not know.”
- “I trust you with this.”
Phrases that quietly break it
- “It is not my fault.”
- “That is just how it is.”
- “I will try” (when you mean no).
- “We will see” (with no follow-up).
- “Because I said so.”
- Any promise that is not kept.
Why small words matter
People listen closely to leaders, often more closely than leaders realize. A dismissive phrase in a stressful moment can stay with someone for years, and so can a word of belief. The leader may forget the moment. The other person may carry it for life. I wrote about that in The Words You Forget, Your People Remember.
Honesty beats certainty
Leaders often feel pressure to sound certain. But saying I do not know yet, and I will find out, builds more trust than a confident guess that turns out wrong. Then follow through. Your team knows whether you do what you tell them you will do.
Trust is at the center of You Are Capable of More: Leadership. See also How to Build Trust With Your Team and Phrases That Kill a Sales Conversation.
Leaders build or break trust one phrase at a time. I was wrong, thank you, what do you think and I will find out build trust. It is not my fault, that is just how it is and broken promises quietly break it. Honesty and follow-through matter more than sounding certain.
Frequently asked questions
What words build trust at work?
What phrases should leaders avoid?
Why does word choice matter for leaders?
Should leaders admit when they do not know something?
You Are Capable of More
A No-Excuses Guide to Becoming Your Best Self. The bestselling book behind Chris’s keynotes and the 2026 Paris Book Festival winner in the How-To category. Many teams hand a copy to every seller at their kickoff.
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