Personal Growth7 min read

What to Do When You Did Not Get the Promotion

Being passed over hurts, especially when you worked hard for it. How you respond in the next few weeks often matters more for your career than the decision itself.

The Short Answer

When you do not get a promotion, give yourself a little time to feel the disappointment, then ask your manager for specific feedback on what would make you ready next time. Build a development plan around that feedback, focusing especially on helping the people around you grow. Support the person who was chosen, keep doing excellent work and check in on your progress. If growth is not possible where you are, use what you learned to decide your next step.

I have run many promotion processes, and I have had the hard conversation with people who were not selected many times. I know how much it can hurt, especially when someone has worked hard and genuinely wanted it. Disappointment is normal, and it is okay to feel it.

What I have also seen is that the people who respond well to not being chosen often end up in leadership anyway, sometimes sooner than they expected.

Give yourself a moment

Before you respond, take a day or two to process. Avoid making big decisions while you are frustrated, and resist venting to coworkers, which can follow you. It is fine to be disappointed. It is how you carry the disappointment that people remember.

Ask for specific feedback

Then ask your manager for a conversation focused on the future: What would make me ready next time? What did the selected person do that I can learn from? Ask for specifics. Vague feedback like keep doing what you are doing will not help you grow. Thank them for their honesty, even if it is hard to hear.

Next Steps

Six things to do after being passed over

  1. Take a breath. Process before you respond.
  2. Ask for specifics. “What would make me ready next time?”
  3. Build a plan. Two or three areas to develop.
  4. Grow the people around you. It needs no title.
  5. Support the new leader. People notice how you handle it.
  6. Check back in. Share progress every few months.

Build a development plan

For people who were not selected, I help build a development plan for next time, and it is almost always centered on developing the people around them, because that needs no title. Choose two or three areas to work on, set specific actions and timelines, and share the plan with your manager.

Support the person who was chosen

How you treat the new leader says a lot about your own readiness. Congratulate them, help them succeed and avoid undermining them, even subtly. The team will notice, and so will leadership. Supporting a peer who got the job you wanted is one of the clearest signs of leadership maturity there is.

Remember how others may see you

In one promotion round, the team named a woman as someone they saw as a leader, even though she had not applied. I told her how the team saw her, and she is now in a leadership role at a different company. Sometimes how others see you is ahead of how you see yourself. Keep doing the job before the title, and if growth truly is not possible where you are, use what you learned to decide your next step.

Growing into more is the heart of my signature keynote, You Are Capable of More. See also How to Get Promoted at Work and Feeling Stuck in Your Career.

Your Takeaway

Being passed over hurts. Take a moment to process, ask for specific feedback about what would make you ready, build a development plan focused on growing the people around you, support the person who was chosen and keep doing the job before the title.

Questions

Frequently asked questions

What should I do if I did not get a promotion?
Take a moment to process, ask your manager for specific feedback, build a development plan, support the person who was chosen and keep doing excellent work.
How do I ask for feedback after not getting promoted?
Ask future-focused questions such as “What would make me ready next time?” and “What can I learn from the person who was selected?”
Should I leave my job if I was passed over for a promotion?
Not right away. Get feedback and work on a plan first. If growth truly is not possible over time, use what you learned to decide your next step.
How do I handle working for a peer who got the promotion?
Congratulate them, support their success and avoid undermining them. How you respond shows your own leadership readiness.
Chris Sund seated with his book You Are Capable of More

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Chris Sund, keynote speaker and author of You Are Capable of More

Chris Sund
President and COO of Uniti Med, GQR Healthcare and Nebula. Bestselling author of You Are Capable of More, winner of the How-To category at the 2026 Paris Book Festival, and a contributor to Inc. and Forbes.

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