How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others at Work
Comparison is natural, and a little of it can push you. But most of the time, you are comparing your private doubts to someone else’s public highlights, and that is a contest nobody wins.
Stop comparing yourself to others at work by noticing when you do it, remembering that you only see their highlights, comparing yourself to who you were a year ago instead, turning envy into a specific question you can learn from, celebrating others’ wins out loud and keeping your attention on your own next step. Use comparison for information, not for judgment.
At work, comparison is everywhere. Someone got the promotion, the bigger account, the praise in the all-hands meeting. A colleague seems to handle everything effortlessly. Online, it is worse: everyone’s career looks like a series of announcements and awards. It is easy to come away feeling behind.
But comparison is rarely a fair fight. You see the inside of your own life, with all the doubt, effort and setbacks. You see the outside of theirs, the polished parts they choose to share. You are comparing your behind-the-scenes to their highlight reel.
When comparison helps and when it hurts
Comparison can be useful when it gives you information: someone is doing something you would like to learn, and their example shows you it is possible. It hurts when it turns into judgment, when someone else’s success becomes proof that you are not enough. The question is whether comparison is moving you forward or keeping you stuck.
Six ways to stop the comparison trap
- Notice it. Simply naming “I am comparing again” takes away some of its power.
- Remember the highlight reel. You do not see their doubts, their setbacks or what it cost them.
- Compare to your past self. Are you better than you were a year ago? That is the comparison that matters.
- Turn envy into a question. “What did they do that I could learn?” Then ask them.
- Celebrate others out loud. Recognizing someone’s win makes it feel less like your loss.
- Focus on your next step. One concrete action toward your own goal beats an hour of measuring.
Their success does not take anything from you
At work, it can feel like opportunities are limited, so someone else’s win must be your loss. Sometimes there really is only one promotion. But over a career, the people who celebrate others, learn from them and keep improving tend to rise further than the people who keep score. Generosity is usually a better strategy than competition among colleagues.
When I promote leaders, one of the things I look for is exactly this: who helps the people around them get better instead of competing with them? See How to Decide Who to Promote Into Leadership.
Run your own race
Your path does not have to look like anyone else’s. My own career went from restaurants to beverage sales to more than a decade in healthcare staffing, and from there to writing a book and speaking. None of it followed a standard track. The only comparison that really matters is whether you are becoming more capable than you were.
That idea sits at the center of my signature keynote, You Are Capable of More. See also How to Build Confidence at Work and The Comfort Ceiling.
Comparison is usually your inside against someone else’s outside. Notice it, compare yourself to who you were a year ago, turn envy into a question, celebrate others out loud and keep your attention on your own next step.
Frequently asked questions
How do I stop comparing myself to coworkers?
Is comparison ever helpful?
Why does comparison make us feel behind?
How do you handle a coworker getting the promotion you wanted?
You Are Capable of More
A No-Excuses Guide to Becoming Your Best Self. The bestselling book behind Chris’s keynotes and the 2026 Paris Book Festival winner in the How-To category. Many teams hand a copy to every seller at their kickoff.
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Chris Sund speaks on this in You Are Capable of More, for conferences, leadership teams and company meetings.
All Personal Growth Articles · In Tiny Buddha: Doing Fine Was Holding Me Back · In Forbes: You’re Capable of More: Here’s What’s Actually Stopping You
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