How to Find a Mentor
Most great mentors were never formally asked. The relationship grew from one good question, a follow-up and a reason to keep talking.
To find a mentor, get clear on what you want help with, look for people a few steps ahead of you inside and outside your organization, start with a specific question rather than asking someone to be your mentor, follow up and share what you did with their advice, offer something back and let the relationship grow over time.
I tell audiences to talk with people who have already done what they want to achieve. It is one of the fastest ways to grow, and most people are more generous with their experience than you expect, as long as you ask well.
For the bigger picture of growing into your potential, read Human Potential: A Complete Guide.
Six steps to find a mentor
- Know what you want. A skill, a role, a decision.
- Look a few steps ahead. Not just at the top.
- Ask a specific question. Not will you be my mentor.
- Follow up. Share what you did with the advice.
- Offer something back. Help goes both ways.
- Let it grow. Relationships build over time.
Look a few steps ahead
The best mentors are often not the most senior people. Someone two or three steps ahead remembers what your stage feels like and has advice you can use now.
Start with a specific question
Asking will you be my mentor feels like a big commitment. Asking can I get fifteen minutes of your advice on how you moved into management? is easy to say yes to. Good mentoring relationships often start with one specific question.
Follow up and give back
After the conversation, send a thank you and later tell them what you did with their advice. That follow-up is what turns one conversation into a relationship. Look for ways to help them too: an introduction, an article, a hand on a project.
Growing with the help of others is part of my signature keynote, You Are Capable of More. See also How to Mentor Someone.
Mentors are found one good question at a time. Know what you want, look a few steps ahead, ask a specific question, follow up with what you did, offer something back and let the relationship grow.
Frequently asked questions
How do I find a mentor?
How do you ask someone to be your mentor?
Where can I find a mentor?
Can you have more than one mentor?
You Are Capable of More
A No-Excuses Guide to Becoming Your Best Self. The bestselling book behind Chris’s keynotes and the 2026 Paris Book Festival winner in the How-To category. Many teams hand a copy to every seller at their kickoff.
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