How to Build Self-Discipline When Motivation Runs Out

I wrote my book in whatever time I could find: at the gym, on drives to my kids’ sporting events and between their games. I did not wait until I felt inspired, because if I had, it would never have been finished. Most days I did not feel especially motivated. I had simply decided that the book was getting written.

That is the difference between motivation and discipline. Motivation is a feeling that comes and goes. Discipline is what you rely on when it is gone.

Decide ahead of time

One lesson I took from a dry January that turned into much more was that habits work better as decisions than moods. When the decision is already made, the daily question becomes how, not whether. Decide in advance when you will do the thing, where and for how long, and put it on your calendar. Then you are not negotiating with yourself every day.

Start smaller than you think

Discipline is built by keeping promises to yourself, so make promises you can keep. Ten minutes of writing a day is better than a plan for two hours that you abandon after a week. Small and dated beats large and someday. As the small habit becomes normal, increase it.

Attach it to something you already do

New habits stick better when they are connected to existing ones. I used the gym and the time between my kids’ games because I was already there. Find a routine you already have, your morning coffee, your commute, your lunch break, and attach the new habit to it.

Make the good choice easier

Discipline is not only about willpower. It is about setting up your environment. Put your running shoes by the door. Close the email tab when you need to focus. Keep the thing you want to avoid out of reach. Every bit of friction you remove saves willpower for when you really need it.

Connect it to your why

When things get hard, we do not fall back on talent. We fall back on purpose. Know why the habit matters to you, who it is for and what it will make possible, and remind yourself on the hard days. Buster Douglas got off the canvas because he was fighting for something bigger than the moment.

And when you slip, and everyone does, start again the next day. One missed day does not undo the habit. Giving up does. This is part of my signature keynote, You Are Capable of More. See also How to Stay Motivated, Finish What You Start and How to Stop Procrastinating at Work.